Friday, May 27, 2011

Dakota- The Graduate

Dakota has truly been a gift from God. Through Dakota, God has shown me amazing amounts of grace, I am honestly on my knees praising God for this wonderful, Godly young man.

As Dakota's proud step-mom, I like to think that I have taught him a whole lot and got him through high school. This is far from the truth. Today is Kota's last day of high school, he will be graduating in just two short weeks and will "officially" get his diploma and be opening a new chapter of his life. The reality of this is really hitting me right now and I have been reflecting on the past 5 years that I have been blessed with.

In 5 years God has used Kota to teach me so many life lessons! I have learned and now LOVE the game of football. I have learned (thanks to Kota's lack of a filter and pure honesty) what goes on inside a teenage boy's mind- yeah that was scary but insightful. I have learned to let go when I really want to hang on for dear life because "I know what's best for him" and "I want to protect him from hurt and pain." I have learned to pick up the pieces after he has fallen- with music and games- not always with talking (boys don't like talking about feelings!). I have learned that more than "talking" about things to let him know I was there- I just needed to show him. I have learned arguing about his stuff laying around is not worth it- it is more important to save the argument for more important things and not exasperate him with the little stuff- you will get much more cooperation with the big stuff when you need it. I have learned that the best conversations happen while we cook dinner together- not when I "plan" to have an organized conversation.

I have learned all these things through HUGE amounts of grace that Dakota has shown me. All of the above things- I have frustrated him with to no end. I have failed him in so many ways by doing the wrong thing- but he has been a patient teacher. I am a little slow- so it wasn't an easy process- we have both wanted to pull our hair out several times!!

Positive perseverance is a good word for Dakota. Kota moved to NC with us- hundreds of miles away from his Mom and sister starting a new life in NC with a new step-mom and new little step-brothers. New high school, new church, new friends- and he took it all in stride, just persevering positively with little to no complaining. School has not been easy for Kota his entire life and he has struggled but he persevered. Kota persevered through the annoying moments of his new little brothers, the frustrating moments of his step-mom not having a clue what to do with a teenage boy and in the process he has taught us all so many things about life.

I have no question that God hand picked Kota to be my child- I had a lot to learn and needed to learn from somebody patient. I think it appropriate that Kota won the P.R.I.D.E award his senior year- showing he was recognized for the following characteristics Positive, Respect, Integrity, Display self control and Excellence.

So while I like to sit back and think- yeah all that arguing about Kota needing to study for a vocab test, do his homework, bring home his notes and writing note cards so we could study has finally paid off, he is graduating!!! No- all that positive perseverance that Kota has displayed has paid off. I have realized that while God has given me the job of being responsible for Kota, I was the one learning while he was in high school.

Congrats Kota- you did it- you persevered through high school and you persevered through your crazy family :-) You passed your English exam- with a D...but I have never been so proud of a D in all my life- way to go buddy- I love you always and I am proud to be your step-mom!!!! I will try not to get too many tears on your cap and gown!!